Eva: The Battle of Control (PS 10 Days Left!)

Eva here--
So we made it! All of the funds were raised, including some extra funds for the momentous event of leaving for the continent of Africa for our entire TEAM! We have 10 Days left! I'm pretty excited. I still feel like I might forget something... eek! That's the only part of all of this I'm sorta nervous...strangely I've been fine when I think about traveling nearly 1/2 way across the world?

Building up our departure, I've been having issues with the crazy disagreements (small ones), all around frustrations, weird dreams, illness... including a sizable headache that lasted all of yesterday! What I have to say to that is: HA! Today I laugh at the face of adversity or more like: squint-in-the-day-light. I have tried to let go all of the lame stuff that has occurred recently without having a complete melt-down, or have it completely steal my joy. Honestly I have had my moments...which were honestly quite chaotic.

My God is good. Even when times are hard. That is the most important. I am staying pretty optimistic. Especially today :) I am very realistic: that with any mission event, we (as a team) might come into some issues/disagreements/setbacks. That happens whenever you do anything unknown and you are open and flexible to God's calling... Spiritual attacks are all over the place! I'm just saying this from direct experience. It is also non-exclusive to mission trips, but in our daily lives as people of God.

Change happens, no matter HOW much a few of us Type-A perfectionists like to plan stuff. I'm on my way to "recovery" in the level of being a perfectionist. This level of planning has always been a survival mechanism for me..."the master of my own destiny" as I've been told?? ugh! That is such deep level of deception that has taken a stronghold on my mind. Granted, I control my actions (free will) but it takes a lot for me to realize (again) that it's not all about me. It is one of those life-long lessons where I will need to be constantly reminded. This level of control manifests itself within the amount of work I take on, how I do it and how I balance my time (which has been extreme levels of trial and error). I am the type of person that freaks out if this post I am writing on this blog has improper spelling and is grammatically incorrect.. lol!!!

I'm in a constant state of learning and re-learning that life is full of situations that I can't control. I don't always give that impression. I am pretty laid-back as well. I am trying my best to not let this level of control hinder the team or myself at all:

Proverbs 19: 21 (NLT)
"You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail"

So, I'm pretty convicted. Proverbs is so straightforward. It's pretty amazing. I'm working on giving God the rest...I'm still a work in progress... now were is my checklist..?

:)